Your Art Degree

This is an essay, folks! This is also a work of satire! Remember that. Please.

So here you are. You're here. You got accepted into that college/university/art school for your art degree. You've been waiting your whole life for this. Nothing's going to stop you now from making you and your parents proud. Your work is going to be displayed in the most elite art gallery. There's going to be wealthy high-class people (Jews) that are willing to pay $10,000 for the shit you made. Now imagine making a few more of them for $15,000. Wow! That might be enough to pay off your student loan of $95,000!

Your parents were wondering all the time whether or not you can be successful by spending all your time playing video games and posting your drawings on DeviantArt instead of focusing on schoolwork and getting good grades, but the education system has failed us as it created a bunch of brainless adult children that enjoy arguing about subjects they have no grasp over (you know who I'm talking about). Anyhow, the market just needs bright minds like YOU. The world just requires more bright minds like YOU. And whose going to make the big bucks? That's right. It's YOU. Beautiful. Amazing. Awesome. The modern world is indescribable. There's a degree or a diploma for almost every subject nowadays meaning jobs must have increased by a bunch. Economy's soaring to all time highs and you're going to contribute to it.

Zoom forward to three years into the future. You're a graduate now. Holy balls. You've ended up surrounded by like-minded special people (I'm not talking about retards, am I?) and all the normal people who's parents are part of the dump called the working class all dropped out and are probably now in trades. Losers, am I right? Who cares about them, though. They're nobodies. Whatever. You're getting your first job and it's going to be so swell. Your first job being a sandwich artist at Subway because that's all you're qualified for. But hey, you can still put that on your resume. "I'm a real artist. A real sandwich artist at Subway. I sell my sandwich art for $4.99." But maybe Subway isn't for you so instead you became a barista at Starbucks. All those future artists are always going to that joint and it's a great way to connect with them. Those lucky artists such as yourself (and hey, why not try out latte art?). This is what happened, all because that art company (whatever it may be) didn't invite you to an interview. But if they did let you get that interview, you were rejected because you either didn't do anything sexual to the interviewer like they asked you to, or you didn't post enough anti-white content on Twitter (racism is bad. Deal with it).

Now you may have gotten that degree AND that job at THAT art company (or something. I don't know). You're in the elite class only a few can ever enter (unlike what you heard before about how a good majority of your classmates would get the same job as you, all at the same time. That didn't happen though. I don't know how the statistics went wrong but it did. But you don't care. You made it! That's what matters). You're now at the top of the temple and nothing can stop you. You're making minimum wage and you're loving it! You're getting stressed out from work and the debate (argument) you haven't finished on Twitter about a topic you know nothing about (you need a strong opinion on EVERYTHING nowadays. Especially if it's politics). Maybe you should just block the asshole after calling him an asshole. That's the easiest way to win a Twitter debate (argument).

Your game design degree got you a job as a janitor (at a game company!). Your graphic design degree landed you a job as cashier at a fast food (keep fighting for that $15, everyone! The automation crap they're getting to replace you is just pure hysteria). Your acting degree made you a line cook (and you want to kill yourself everyday). Wait, that doesn't sound like you? You're telling me that you feel everything is falling apart? You're thinking to yourself that playing video games for 12 hours a day is becoming a problem and making money off of Twitch isn't working? Don't you worry! Prostitution and suicide is always an option.

So there you have it. Your art degree may get a little rough in areas. Not everything goes according to plan but that's just life. You end up taking a big risk and the house wins, not you. You're depressed, sad, and can't stand looking at your parents' face as you wasted three years of your life on a piece of paper that doesn't look good being framed on the wall so you throw it into the trash instead. You wish you made a smarter choice. All those happy faces you saw in the ads are only achieved by the 1% and not by people like you. There's always a different door for you to take but it's up to you to open it. So, what will it be? Are you going to be a bitch that yells at God for letting the misfortune be dropped on your head (even though you don't believe in God or any religion you've got to defend Islam and Judaism every chance you get. I still can't wrap my head around that), or are you going to make the smart choice from the very beginning and actually find and learn a useful skill that not only doesn't make you want to kill yourself, but also one that isn't going to drown you in debt.

There you have it. It's over. Done. I'm finished. Have a good life.